"The Best Writing is Rewriting"
Grace Moua
English 2105
Professor Dr. Gill
Editing Log
February 19, 2024
"The Best Writing is Rewriting": 1 Mentor (Alicia Chuuon)
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LBH Page 72
1. Principle: coh: The coherence could be emphasized more throughout each sentence. If repition or parallel structure is going to be used then include it in every sentence.
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Error: The use of repetition in the paragraph should be displayed throughout the entire paragraph.
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Original: Adequate development is the second standard of a successful paragraph as it utilizes details and reasoning in a body paragraph.
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Revision: Adequate development is the second standard of a successful paragraph, as it utilizes details and reasoning in a body paragraph.
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2. Principle: W: The word choice wasn't fitting for the context of the sentence.
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Error: The word choice didn't fit with the purpose of the sentence.
Original: The last standard of a successful paragraph is coherence, which exists throughout the entirety of the paragraph with consistency and key words.
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Revision: The last standard of a successful paragraph is coherence, which exists throughout the entirety of the paragraph with stability and key words.
Grace Moua
English 2105
Professor Dr. Gill
29 February, 2024
Gun Control Con #1
"The Best Writing is Rewriting": 1 Mentor (Elianna Aragon)
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1. Principle: cit: there should be in text citations even when paraphrasing the text.
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Error: Jones and Stone found that there were practically no regulations of the firearm market which encouraged Americans to purchase more guns following a mass shooting which included the lives of innocent children.
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Revision: Jones and Stone found that there were practically no regulations of the firearm market which encourages Americans to purchase more guns following a mass shooting which included the lives of innocent children (Jones, Stone).
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Grace Moua
English 2105
Professor Dr. Gill
29 February 2024
Gun Control Pro #1
"The Best Writing is Rewriting" : 1 Mentor (Elianna Aragon)
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1. Principle: W: the phrasing of the sentence didn't sound correct when read aloud.
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Error: Americans who own guns having more knowledge about gun control issues demonstrates the complexity of supporting gun ownership and gun restrictions.
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Revision:
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2. Principle: W: too much usage of 'gun' in the paragraph.
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Error: Americans who own guns having more knowledge about gun control issues demonstrates the complexity of supporting gun ownership and gun restrictions.
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Revision:
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3. Principle: W: word choice doesn't make sense since the words chosen to begin the sentence mean the same thing.
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Error: In contrast however, many gun owners are in fact knowledgeable and demonstrate having a higher level of understanding gun control issues.
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Revision: In contrast, many gun owners are in fact knowledgeable and demonstrate having a higher level of understanding gun control issues.
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4. Principle: cit: in text citations should be used when paraphrasing
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Error: In contrast, many gun owners are in fact knowledgeable and demonstrate having a higher level of understanding gun control issues.
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Revision: In contrast, many gun owners are in fact knowledgeable and demonstrate having a higher level of understanding gun control issues (Moriarty, Hearne).
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Grace Moua
English 2105
Professor Dr. Gill
Gun Control Pro #2
29 February 2024
"The Best Writing is Rewriting": 1 Mentor (Elianna Aragon)
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1. Principle: cit: Use citation after a quote
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Error: The NRA pushed for states and judges to "evaluate gun restrictions under "the highest standards of justification""
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Revision: The NRA pushed for states and judges to "evaluate gun restrictions under "the highest standards of justification"" (Pettys)
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2. Principle: cit: Use citation after using quotes
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Error: State courts have instead been using their state laws to further impose "reasonable regulations" with statements of how the states will be utilizing their "police power to protect the health, safety, and morals of the citizenry".
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Revision: State courts have instead been using their state laws to further impose "reasonable regulations" with statements of how the states will be utilizing their "police power to protect the health, safety, and morals of the citizenry" (Pettys).
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